Monday, November 23, 2009

Are You Sure They Won't Kidnap God?

What we have nowadays is no longer kidnapping but ‘adultnapping’.

The reactions to “M’God, They Have Kidnapped the President”, TELL, October 12, 2009, have been both funny and scary. Some see it as a clarion call for the security agencies to be more alive to their responsibilty while others see it as a comical indictment of the system that breeds kidnappers in the first place. Other issues come to play in this voxpopilogue. Happy reading.

The opilogue, “M’God, They Have kidnapped the President” is satirical but informative as well. Please don’t get yourself ‘adultnapped’ as the whole country has been ‘massnapped’ by the politicians. S A Adejuwon, Esa Oke, Osun State.

You are right. What we have nowadays is no longer kidnapping but ‘adultnapping’. When we were young, we used to hear only of “gbomo gbomo” (kidnapping or kid-nappers). Nowadays, it is “adult-napping”, “man-napping” and “woman-napping”. And you know what? This is outright stealing of human beings! Are we that cheap? Let the prayer warriors continue to pray that we do not all end up in the kidnappers’ den sooner than later.

The kidnappers are devilshly ambitious and daring like the Somali pirates. I just hope that they would not think of kidnapping God. Ayo Ademuyiwa, Ode Omu.

Don’t be too sure. Niagarans can do anything for money. If they can throw a day-old baby into a mortar and pound it like they do pounded yam in Mama Put’s buka, then nothing can faze them. And for your information, if Piriye, the little boy, could kidnap God’s mother in “God, We Have Kidnapped Your Mama”, TELL, October 12, 2004, then God, Himself, is game for those sons of a dog.

How I wish kidnappers could try and kidnap all the officials of PHCN. It may help solve the electricity problem in this our Niagara. Diana Omars, Warri.

I think that’s a good wish. The officials could be forced to give us uninterrupted supply of power for a particular period before they are released. That’s ingenious, if not abetting (crime)!

They have kidnapped the president? How I wish this to be real, maybe the government and the security agencies would wake up from their slumber. Aderemi Omolola, Abuja.

The security agencies are already alert to their responsibility. Every public official has a retinue of combat-ready, amphibious body guards that accompany them to board rooms, banquet halls, the loo and even their bedrooms because of lurking kidnappers. When travelling, they move in a convoy of several dozen armoured cars and wear bullet-proof apparels at public functions. That is their armour against hungry Niagarans in general.

Our country has been kidnapped already.Jude, Masaka, Nasarawa State.

Who told you? The oil wells are still running. What else do you want? Mind your language o!

Irefer to “Mama Fela of Burma”, TELL, October 19, 2009. I consider this to be a clarion call to Oby and Ngozi to come back home and perform political miracles since their sister is busy rebranding Megida’s cattle ranch. Muyiwa, Osun State.

I can assure you that they will be kidnapped on the tarmac the very moment they step on this already kidnapped soil. They will be lucky if their chartered plane is not held for ransom, too. Things are just too bad. The kidnappers would think that working in the World Bank is a sure banker for raking in dollars and pounds sterling from the duo. They went for Soludo’s father because they believed his son, a retired CBN governor, must be awash with brand-new currency notes. Lamido must be extra careful. If a retired CBN governor’s father could be kidnapped, then his own father, wherever he is, whether in heaven or on earth, will be a more credit-worthy target! Who will tame the bounty hunters? The answer, as they say, is blowing in the wind.

You are selfish for holding and hiding the picture of Aung San Suu Kyi to yourself. Hope you are not planning to kidnap her. May she live long to see her dream Burma.Ogundijo S A, Ibadan, Oyo State.

The woman is too beautiful to be shared (not what you are thinking) with everybody. Thus I have hidden her on Check the ravishing beauty today. She is, indeed, “obinrin meta” (three-in-one woman). Brain, Brawn and Beauty.

We also have many “obinrin meta” in our country. If the men can pocket their ego and allow women to rule this giant of Africa from the grassroots to the tree top, all our problems will be solved and the difference will be clear. Kievwe, Warri.

You sound like Sir Shina Peters to me who once sang that 90 per cent of the corruption and 90 per cent of the motor accidents in this country are caused by men and as a result men should give women the chance to rule. There should be no sentiments here. Women should come out openly and present a credible alternative to the cacophony of bullet-riddled, crime-riddled, sleaze-riddled and profanity-riddled voices on the political stumps. Aung San Suu Kyi did not wait to be cajoled or caressed by the political stockbrokers before throwing her ‘heart’ in the ring to be pumelled and trampled for the sake of the teeming masses of Burma.

We really need leaders who are portmanteaux of brain plus brawn unlike some of our past and present leaders. Biodun Soretire, Ijebu Ode.

The beautiful ones — sorry, the heroic ones — are not yet born.

Re: “Wanted, A National Day for Fools and Yahoos”, TELL, October 5, 2009. At times I wonder why a few fools would be lording it over many wise men and women. Aderemi Omolola, Abuja.

I wonder myself why we are wandering in the wilderness, yet we all each carry a compass. There’s hope that one day we shall be jolted to the reality of that compass in our breast pocket to show us the way out of the chaotic jungles of our own Babylon.

1 comment:

  1. As someone who has known Dele for about forty years, I am sure your blog will surely convey the best contribution thinking can produce.
    But Dele, I do hope you and the other guys are not sitting idle, thinking you've completed your work ... we are still in the post June 12 era. Babangida's return to power in Nigeria will completely upset the victory for which you guys toiled for years... even putting your lives on the line at TELL. The task in unfinished!

    dokun jagun