Tuesday, February 23, 2010

GOING NAKED TO AMERICA

Pix credit: bestdealscarrental.com

Oga, that boy don cause wahala for airport!

Which kind wahala be that?

They talk am say na for naked we go go America now.

Who said?

Everybody. Or is Oga not aware of the commotion in town?

What?! Tell me, what the hell is going on?

They say because that Murtalla boy wan throw bomb for America na soso naked we go go comot house for airport.

I still can't understand you. Maybe you have to come out clearly in straight English to explain what you mean?

No problem. Aviation authorities have ordered that everybody travelling to America must pass through X-ray rooms to check their private parts for bombs, drugs and guns.

You mean some people will peep inside your pants searching for what is not missing? It's a lie! That’s operation “pat down”, isn’t it?

That’s very true but they say it's man that will check the inner recesses of man while woman will do the same for woman.

There they go again! Did they not say sometime ago that ours is not a gay community and homosexuals are not allowed? So why are they saying it is men that will look at naked men and women to look at naked women? Is that not homosexualism? Is that not lesbianism at work? They should be consistent. Since homosexualism and lesbianism are not allowed in our country then it is men that should check the "particulars" of women while women should use their peeping, Amebo eyes to ransack the “valleys of the shadows of men”.

No! That will be too explicit. Imagine putting our beautiful Nollywood actresses under the scan for a 24-year-old man to examine or a 96-year-old Emir being body checked by a 22-year-old female immigration officer! By the way more people who like voyeurism will like to join the immigration department soon to enjoy the Murtalla bonanza. But come to think of it, if that Murtalla boy were to pass tghrough the machine we would have nothing to declare in his lower torso. I learnt the bomb had cleared his “gun” and “bullets”. Only God knows what he would have een used to “work” on the seven virgins inn heaven if he had succeeded in his suicide mission.

You have not said anything. Have you ever thought of the wahala (trouble) he has caused innocent people?

Who are those?

Wait! You will hear wen! Can you imagine Reverend Sisters, Reverend Fathers, pastors, bishops, archbishops, deacons and deaconesses going under the X-ray for "unbelievers" to scrutinise their holy of holies? Can you imagine imams, alfas, sheiks and ayatollahs being screened by female ‘infidels’? Ah! Gongo a so!! The unexpected will happen.

That's double jeopardy! A woman looking at the secret anatomies of Islamic clerics? That's invitation for another Gulf war!

Thank God, you too know the implication of what that ajantala boy (enfant terrible) has done. Governors and their First Ladies, original and fake, will now be subjected to the ignomy of doing “pants down” at local and international airports abroad. Pastors' wives are also in trouble of exposure.

Who is not? Is it not everybody?

There you are. In Niagara, if you don’t kow, all travellers are equal but some are more equal than the others.

What do you mean?

You think a military officer will allow a "bloody civilian" ransack his underbelly and take a hard look at his "artillery gun" and have a feel of his epididymises"?

No way!

You think a pastor Chris will allow an unbeliever to ruffle his nest and touch his eggs?

Abomination!

You think a senate president will allow a female immigration officer to hold his gavel in the public and bang it on the x-ray machine for all man to see?

Ooops!!! That will be painful!

What a shame!!

ENDS


11 comments:

  1. I have always known Mr Omotunde to be a very witty man. Anytime I go to the Unilag library, I find his write-ups in Newswatch Best very hard to resist. Kudos!

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  2. 這麼好的部落格,以後看不到怎麼辦啊!!!........................................

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  3. 若對自己誠實,日積月累,就無法對別人不忠了。........................................

    ReplyDelete