When Naked Violence Is Not Sexy

Have you heard the news that the Kenyan women have finally called off their strike?

Strike? What sort of strike was that?

Goodness me! So you didn't know that those women had been on sex strike for about two weeks?

Of what use was that? They said they wanted to force their men to settle the political rift between their President and the Prime Minister.

And they thought they could achieve that by denying their husbands their ‘woman’ rights?

They believed so. They said if all men were denied sex for a long time they would all come together to find a solution to the political problem in the land.

They must be very naive. Suppose their men turned to commercial sex workers who cannot afford to go on strike?

They were very clever about that. They simply coopted the prostitutes into the mass sex denial movement. Smart ladies!

Did they succeed in their objective?

I think the question you should ask is, did they carry out the strike at all? Interestingly they even called on the wife of the President to be part of the sex strike.

Did she take part?

Who could ask Her Excellency that kind of question? Do you remember what she did to the Daily Standard reporter who merely reported a story concerning her sometime ago? Who is that reporter to ask Mrs Kibaki if she denied the President sex? That would be an invitation to another Mike Tyson show in the newsroom! It's like Niagaran women asking all married females to go on indefinite sex strike until Baba Go Slow moves faster on the highway of development and you go to ask Turari, his wife, if she did her own beat of the strike. That will be asking for malam's trouble. Real trouble, I mean wholesale trouble inside Zuma Rock. It’s tantamount to peeping through the keyhole of the purdah which the Rock has become.

But why did the women go for sex as a weapon for fighting for peace and social justice?

It's not a new thing. Housewives use what they have to get what they want from their hubbies. They armtwist, legtwist and mouthtwist their men for money for aso ebi (uniform apparel), birthday gifts and holiday trips. When it comes to bedroom politics men are the weaker sex. I swear! Even the most powerful war commanders often meet their waterloo in the battle of the bedroom. Such is the tempting alure of sex that women easily use it to blackmail, intimidate and conquer men. For instance, in 2006, when the drug war in Colombia was raging like hell fire, wives and girlfriends of gang members also resolved to go on sex strike in what they called the "strike of the crossed legs" until their husbands and boyfriends gave up their guns to end the senseless war of attrition among the gangs. It was tough.

Did the men drop their weapons as a result of their women's strike?

It was like preaching to the deaf. The drug barons did not care a hoot about sex strike or any work-to-rule tactics in bed. These were people richer than, even, their country. They owned jets and secret ‘airports’ for freighting drugs to the US.

That reminds me of what happened recently. By the way, did you see the Ado women protesters after the Ayokah election?

Yes, I did. And what about them?

Didn't you see how they exposed their 'fan milk yogo'?

Hmmm... Is that all you saw?! Na wah for you. You mean you didn't see the anger and sorrow on their faces? You did not see the feeling of frustration in a system that has continued to fail them over the years? You didn't see their disappointment in the fact that one of their own had been used to pervert the course of justice in broad daylight? It was only their milk storage tanks your hungry, lustful eyes saw.

Yes, I saw their sagging morale crying for divine intervention and judicial enhancement. But come, why did they come out like that? Shouldn't they have worn bras like the women of Akure in 2007 or gone to visit Ms Ozolua for pre-protest counselling?

The reasons are clear. The protesting women of Akure were younger. They were more urbane. Then, they had husbands they still had to report back to after exposing what they (the husbands) 'bought' and prostrated for on their not-too-distant wedding days. The Ado women, on the other hand, were older and probably not accountable to any jealous men back at home except, probably, one of them who had what you can actually call young adult b...s (pronounced like FOOLS). The others exposed what nature poets ironically call old alabaster b....s (pronounced like SPREADS).

It's you alone who noticed the characteristics of what they exposed or did not expose. Others were more concerned with the symbolism of that premordial form of protest. But here you are salivating over what remains of the once vibrant morale of the victims of another rape of democracy in Ado.

They should thank their stars. Could they have done that in Lagos or Port Harcourt? Those hungry, sex starved city police would just have rounded them up for dinner.

Talking more seriously I think it's high time our women stopped using their "body parts" to form “barricades” and “bonfires” on the road whenever they are protesting. This is the modern era. It's ironic that today's women still believe that their boo-boos and hoo-hoos can speak louder than their mouths when they are oppressed.

But methinks that the women have a valid point in embarking on sex strike or naked street parade. They are trying to pass the message that violence is not sexy. Men should make love not war after elections

No wonder the police were also salivating on seeing them!

Poser for today

Is it desirable for women to go on sex strike or parade in the nude as a form of protest? Leave your comments here or send to domotunde@tellng.com